I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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