I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We need to get me chipped asap
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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