saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
