literally had 100 drinks last night.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
