I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
