i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
