Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
