Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
