I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
