Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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