He is such a slut. More and more my type.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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