D3 body, D1 cock
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
