Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
