I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
