i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
