I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
