idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize