Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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