I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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