if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
