I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
