im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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