I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
