i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
