Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
