did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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