I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
