yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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