guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize