I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
COCAINE IS GR8
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
