Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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