he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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