no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
