I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
