Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize