took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
