I smell stomach acid.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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