a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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