I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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