i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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