Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
