I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
