the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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