walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize