You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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