Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
