i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
