He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
