why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
