The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I smell like Dick and happiness
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