Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
