I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize