if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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