A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You can't special order awesome
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
