Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
