My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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