he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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