It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
