I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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