I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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