Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
