Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think people are normalizing furries
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize