Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
