everyone is single if you try hard enough
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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