Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
