he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
