im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
