Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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