So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
