Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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