So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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